Hello you.
My Directors Of The Bored, welcome again to my little daily pick-me-up which aims to plaster a smile across your face at a time where you thought it maybe wasn’t possible.
Our blog is where I curate and very occasionally create the laughs to help get you through Coronavirus.
I’m here every day of this pandemic to prove that laughter can whizz around this planet of ours quicker and last for longer than any filthy condition thrown at the human race.
As always, the best of the daily funnies are towards the end of the blog, and you can scroll there straight away if you like, but you’ll miss all this other good stuff, plus I’ll spread lie after lie besmirching your family history to the point people will cross the street to avoid you and it won’t be down to social distancing.
The Useful
I’ve included this one in here for you to try at home if you’re a parent. By this stage, of course, I’m sure you’ve enabled your own version of home schooling ensuring you profit in some way. There’s an accompanying article on this, but honestly, all it proves is that it was an exceptionally slow news day.
One of the most common First World complaints I’ve heard or spoken myself during Lockdown is that we’re constantly snacking. The words can be leaving your mouth as a form of objection in between inhaling the contents of another bag of kettle chips. It’s astonishing. This article explains the circumstances which allow snacking to be very occasionally recommended, and the snacks to have when everything aligns to allow that to take place.
World Of The Weird
This category was set up to spotlight the increasingly erratic outbursts being caused by the Coronavirus pandemic. We’ve shown examples of very strange human and animal behaviour over the months. Today we’re back with the humans again, and the peculiar story of the submerged Italian town, Fabbriche di Careggine, which may resurface from the depths of a lake again next year, after spending most of the previous century underwater.
And then the Fabbriche Atlantians will overpower the remaining land dwellers of planet earth, becoming our Piscine Overlords, never far from plunging their Neptunian forks straight through the flesh of our subservient human hearts.
I’m sorry, the initial events of 2020 overpowered my thought processes for a moment there.
I’m fine now. Here’s the actual story arriving mere seconds before your wife | girlfriend | sister | mother click their online boarding pass for a flight to Italy hoping to find Jason Momoa.
Here’s another odd one. This Belgian man has been receiving pizza deliveries for more than 10 years!
Whilst that may initially sound like winning the fast food lottery, he’s now haunted by it, and told his local newspaper, “I cannot sleep anymore. I start shaking every time I hear a scooter on the street. I dread that someone will come to drop off hot pizzas yet another time.”
I swear I’m not making this up.
This sounds like maybe a couple of generations of dedicated pranksters. We used to do this to one of our science teachers every Friday, but only for a year or so. After that, the novelty wore off. Part of me admires the longevity and endurance required to maintain the frequency over 10 years, although, of course, I absolutely do not condone the behaviour.
This poor guy is sweating in his sleep over it. That’s happened to me a few times too, but usually only after I’ve completed a 12 inch Hot Meat Feast.
Thin crust at the time, deep pan the morning after.
Next, this requires an official rebuke from either the Queen or Stephen Fry.
I think the daughter was probably on hand to be the official taster. You know, to certify the drink amongst her peers along the lines of > ‘If this teen thinks it’s cool, she speaks on behalf of all teens.’ She may well do after they get her home from hospital following her first sip, but I doubt it.
Things That Make You Go Awwwwww
It’s time for The Funnies
Today’s News In Brief
Dad had other ideas.
Let’s play out with some music.
I totally surprised myself by quite enjoying this version.
Good old Gary. He’s a trouper. Crooner Session 52!
Thanks for reading.
Stay safe x
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 