Good Morning my Directors Of The Bored,
After a brief departure from our standard blog yesterday, I’ve decided to return to the reason this blog was founded in the first place – to make you laugh when you thought you couldn’t because some aspect of this pandemic had made you feel that way.
Our goal has always been to prove that laughter can pass around this globe of ours quicker and last for longer than any virus.
That’s not to say we won’t ever return to yesterday’s subject. I wasn’t merely paying it lip service. We’ll return there or elsewhere if our eyes are forced there by the world around us.
But for now, let’s see if we can make your next attack one of the giggles.
The Funnies, as always, are towards the end of the blog. Ahead of that, hopefully some other good stuff to fill you up.
Let’s start today with People Are Amazing.
I’ve told you before about the lady in the village next to us who knits feverishly, (more than she sleeps, I’d say, or perhaps she’s mastered how to do it in her sleep – the evolution of the knitter) creating beautiful works of art, in wool, for the village to enjoy.
It started with Post Box Toppers. Overnight at Christmas, on the top of the village post box (there’s only one, outside the chemist’s) a knitted Christmas scene would appear.
During the pandemic though, she’s taken things up a notch. Forgive me, because I’m not sure of the order these items have appeared, but, in this period she’s created knitted versions of frontline workers from the village. They’ve been fixed to fenceposts for everyone to see (the woollen copies not the originals – that would be problematic).
There are woollen bees (and birds) dotted about the village for bored local kids to try and find and bee-friend.
AND she’s knitted these little things after discovering medical staff who’ve been wearing masks every day of the pandemic are starting to blister and scab across their ears. These allow the wearer to pull the elastic around the back of the head (bypassing the sores on the ears) where the ends can clip over the buttons.
Ingenious, and so very generous.
All she’s ever asked for were donations of old or odd buttons you might have lying around the house.
Literally paid in buttons, which she also proceeded to give away.
Never forget, People Are Amazing. They just need the right set of circumstances to conspire in order for them to step up and showcase it with their own particular talents.
The Useful
I know I mentioned the fact we’ve been painting our garden walls in the good weather. Did I also mention the fact that Harled walls are the devil’s own design? I think I recall saying something along the lines of ‘the walls in the 9th Circle of Hell in Dante’s Inferno are harled’. If so, I was closer to accurate than I possibly imagined at the time of typing it.
23 litres later, we’ve painted two lengths of wall, which’ll do for now because we’ve run out of paint, good weather and inclination.
Surprisingly, despite wanting to be indoors most of that entire outdoor phase, I’m now miffed the good weather has departed. But, don’t worry, according to this piece, 6 more heatwaves are just around the corner this Summer.
Notice, this forecast has been compiled by The Weather Company, who are generally the same people who warn of 8 feet of snow every winter from around late August onwards. I’m not saying the forecasts are compiled by having seaweed hanging on doors or how their collective corns are feeling, but I suspect they’re paid more readily by newspapers when the forecasts possibly fit their ‘news’ agenda – and both parties know it.
However, on the off-chance they’re right, (even for their readers in Scotland) and you happen to have the money and space available, this could be right up your street.
Lidl’s selling a 12 foot garden pool from this Sunday for £99.99, in stores, while stocks last.
Roll on heatwaves 1 through 6.
Meanwhile, if the weather doesn’t take an uplift, the box set everyone’s been talking about in my timeline is Normal People. We eventually succumbed and gave it a go, and found it to be……alright. To be honest, we knew it was 12 episodes and kind of stuck with it despite it annoying us a bit at points throughout. We both felt like taking the main characters and shaking them a few times.
Maybe it’s an age thing. I remember being a twenty-something and the show for us back then was ‘This Life’, but for my money this was nowhere near as good.
Anyway, if you’re a fan, you’ll probably know what’s barring a Season 2 from happening in standard TV time is that the book the show’s adapted from doesn’t have a sequel, yet, at any rate. This article takes a look at how likely one may be, and a possible timeline, given the success of the programme.
And from the world of the bigger screen, I think Josh Gad may have come up with the replacement for Some Good News.
World Of The Weird
I have to admit, as the Drive-Thru McDonalds and KFCs start to reopen I can’t imagine anything worse than sitting in the car in a massive queue waiting my turn for a bag of food, most of which will stick to the roof of my mouth.
My kids would most likely disagree.
A more accurate picture of the event is that they would be the ones who’d moan the most whilst in the queue, only to announce it was the greatest thing when the food arrived, and further proclaim this was the first decent thing they’d eaten since Lockdown began, twisting the knife to maximum thrust.
Some adults will no doubt have missed these places just as much, and perhaps this journalist even considered attempting to fly to other parts of the world to satisfy their craving, which is how they arrived at the idea for this article.
McDonald’s Singapore – on the breakfast menu, Chicken Curry Burger.
McDonald’s Japan. No time for a main and dessert?
No problem. Have a McChocolate Potato.
That’s right. Chips and chocolate sauce, white and dark.
This though, has to be my favourite, and when I say favourite, I mean the one most likely to make me sick in my own mouth just contemplating it.
The Ikasumi Burger is the Halloween Special in Japan. It’s squid ink served in a black bun with two beef patties, cheese and fried onions.
Yum.
Things That Make You Go Awwwwww
The granny who dressed as a giant inflatable unicorn simply to give her grandchildren a hug.
Mum’s come home. You don’t know her. It doesn’t matter.
Things We’ve Discovered In Lockdown
Never mind Tiger King, this guy keeps an eagle as a pet.
In case anyone ever doubted it, conclusive evidence dogs really are man’s best friend, and are hardwired to rescue us.
Although in Ernie’s case, let’s hope time isn’t pressing on that rescue attempt.
And, squirrels are the Total Wipeout champions of the animal kingdom.
It’s time for The Funnies
Andrew Cotter’s been at it again, this time for a charity.
Today’s News In Brief
Let’s end on some music
Thanks for reading.
Stay safe x
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 