Greetings my Directors Of The Bored.
I’m going to use one of those phrases now that I used to hate on business email, but which I think has won me over again in recent times. You ready?
I hope this message finds you well?
Look, it’s not “Please join me in congratulating….”, “let’s touch base offline”…or…”we’re going to have to peel the onion on that one”….so I think you can let me have it, especially since I ask in all sincerity.
Loads to get through, including some cracking funnies towards the end, but let me first start with yet another warning regarding home-schooling, and this one is not about the amount of work, or the overwhelm of notifications from teaching apps, but about your kids being sneaky instead.
Look at this wee lad with his Mum. He’s 5, his name is Luca.
Butter wouldn’t melt, right?
Like many parents, Luca’s Mum is balancing home-schooling with her own working from home timetable, which means she possibly wasn’t quite as on top of things as she might otherwise normally be. What she was doing was occasionally Face Timing Luca to make sure he was working, and then settling for a quick double-check before hanging up again. Plus, she was only working in the next room so she could hear him toddling about at his desk.
This is exactly why we held off giving our kids electronics until they were older. Josh only got a phone when he went to secondary school. Gracie is slightly younger, but more supervised in her usage.
Luca, got his sister’s iPad and took a bunch of selfies with ‘all of his thinking faces’, and then propped up the iPad against his own, making sure every time his Mum Face Timed she was met with an alternative thinking posture.
Then he set about a Lego Marathon.
You’ve been warned.
People Are Amazing
Nobody wants to see facilities like NHS Louisa Jordan being set up, but when it’s agreed by the powers that be, that something of that nature and magnitude should be built, in the hope it’s a safety net and not a full time requirement during peak, you have to marvel at the speed and ingenuity of the construction teams assembling everything so efficiently on the site and reconfiguring the SECC for its new, temporary purpose.
And well done too, to Tunnock’s sending round thousands of goodies as a pat on the back.
Care Homes are increasingly under the spotlight in this period, so it’s my pleasure to bring a more touching story to you today, about a certain care home worker who spotted her client, a 94 year old gent, always went to sleep at night tucked up with a photo of his long-departed wife. So, she took it upon herself to have a cushion made with the picture on the front, so he’d have something softer to snuggle into.
This was his reaction.
The Useful
I openly admit I’m drawn to Harry Potter themed things because I live with the world’s biggest Potter fan, but it’s also a genre that many people are familiar with, so this might be something that’ll kill a few hours of your Lockdown in a fun way, raising funds for a good cause.
Alternatively, there’s this TV quiz, if you’ve put all your time into Box Set binges.
This next one barely makes it into The Useful.
And finally today for this section, news of a new Broadway On Demand streaming platform arriving soon, which has thousands of hours of Broadway shows ready to stream to your home.
Basically Netflix for stage shows.
With any luck you can access it through Voice Command on your remote, to keep your jazz hands free for accompaniment.
World Of The Weird
As Lockdown behaviour becomes nuttier, we corral those stories here.
Today, the sheep on a day trip to McDonald’s Ebbw Vale.
This is admirable, but still doesn’t really answer the question, ‘why?’
Same thing for this.
And as for this!
This newly married couple found themselves at a loose end, so the wife suggested she make over her husband to look exactly like her, and he agreed.
To me this sounds like the diplomatic first step in a possibly wider-ranging discussion for the future. It’s difficult to decide who’s instigating it though.
It’s time for The Funnies
Let me just find my Janey Godley board. Ah…here it is.
Next, my pal Grant, revisits a previously fertile creative patch to fabulous effect.
Today’s News In Brief
Here’s how to confuse our Spollie Ernie in super-quick time.
Let’s play out with some music. If you’re old enough to have seen this at the time, watch it again and fully appreciate how there has never really been anyone since this performance who can conduct a crowd the way a maestro would an orchestra. And if your kids have never seen it, maybe this’ll be one of those times where you sit them down in front of the TV and your recommendation actually works.
But don’t bet on it. I wouldnae hud yer breath, as my Granny would say.
Thanks for reading.
Stay safe x
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 