Directors Of The Bored, Happy Easter!
If that means anything to you at all. If not, surely we can unite behind Choccy Egg Day.
It’s a tradition we’ve always known, which, like everything else will be affected by Coronavirus this year.
We won’t be getting together as families in the traditional sense. The Easter Bunny’s already frightened he’s going to be stopped by police and asked if it’s only essential items in his basket. So he’s got to be more covert, and carry 14 changes of clothes.
And unless you’re blessed with a garden that has some kind of slope, rolling Easter Eggs will have to be re-imagined as well.
It’s a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things, I suppose.
I can’t even do my usual Easter Monday trip to the supermarkets where I back my van up to the door and they tip all the marked down and broken eggs into the back of it. Do you think they’d be prepared to post them out? I can probably still arrange a skip for the back garden fairly easily. You can email me at Imsixfeetawayandivewashedmyhands@sociabledistance. com.
Really. Try it.
On the blog today, it’s The Long Good Friday of funny stuff, plus The Useful, World Of The Weird and People Are Amazing.
First up, in ‘The Useful’ – if the concept of Social Distancing STILL hasn’t kicked in yet, here’s the simplest most effective ad I’ve seen.
I thought it was a home run, and then, stupidly, I checked the replies.
These were the first two.
Face Palm.
This is useful too. I LOVE P!nk. And Ellen. Demographically, I’m a forty something housewife from Fort Lauderdale.
One half of P!nk’s family caught Coronavirus. The other half didn’t. In the same house, at the same time. Plus, something to look out for here, the sign of a really good interview technique….when P!nk has a wobble midway through and breaks a little, Ellen lets her.
Sounds harsh. Makes the interview. Watch.
Next, fetch me eight of these.
For most of us, the prospect of having to cut our own hair in isolation is proving traumatic. For most of us. I’m quite intrigued to find out if mine will grow at all, and if it does, will it go straight out like a mad professor or actually sit in some sort of style if I coax it enough. I’ll be honest, it’s not something I’ve devoted a lot of time contemplating on because I’m not really all that confident anything will happen.
For the majority, still nervous of ballsing it up, I give you the wise words of my father. The difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is only ever a fortnight. And trust me, you’ll still be inside after another fortnight.
Here’s how this sheep farmer does it. Mind you, the only ones to snigger at him will be the sheep and he’s probably content enough in that happening because he knows who’s having the last laugh in that relationship.
Sort of mesmerising wasn’t it. At one point I expected him to say, “Ach, it’s alright, I’ve still got the other ear”.
Here’s a useful quick reminder.
On that very subject – listen to this.
It’s Easter Weekend, so this will be incredibly useful. “Alexa, when is James Bond on TV this weekend?”
Saturday 5.35pm on ITV4 – Live And Let Die
8pm on ITV2 – Skyfall
Sunday 8pm ITV2 – Spectre
You’re welcome.
Here’s something with debatable merit in terms of its actual capabilities, but, I’ve included it for ingenuity and the premise something is better than nothing.
And finally, one for the golfists. Fetch your bats.
In World Of The Weird, the increasingly unusual behaviour being displayed by both animals and humans, as the latter, largely speaking, remove themselves from every day outdoor life.
Today, presenting, “No kids?(…looks left and right….) My turn.”
Oh, and have you spotted any rats near you, brazenly walking about during the day, confident in the knowledge they could quite easily take a seagull?
Well, if you haven’t, lucky you, but I’ve read various expert opinions warning to look out for rats because their most dependable sources of meals, overflowing restaurant bins, have all but disappeared, so they’re being forced out of their usual spots to forage more.
“People. Are. Amazing”
They simply require the right set of circumstances to shine. Like this lot.
OK, time for the funnies.
Today’s “News In Brief”
Let’s play out with some Quarantunes.
Here’s the first brand new song I’m aware of recorded whilst in lockdown.
Better Days is by OneRepublic.
Happy Easter.
Stay safe x
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 