Directors Of The Bored,
Thank you for congregating once again. This is the place where you can get away from everything daily and have a proper laugh, because we need that right now more than ever.
I’ve got some great stuff, as always, later in the blog, plus proof that people are amazing, especially when something as life-alteringly extreme as Coronavirus gets in the road of every day living, and, what your dog is making of all this.
But first, this is as close as I’ve come on the blog to a complaint.
Apps are great, but the above is proof of how they can sometimes go wrong. You may already be familiar with the Show My Homework App. If not, it’s all in the name really. Lots of schools use it, especially secondaries. As a parent, I think it’s absolutely fantastic, but had it existed when I was a teenager it would’ve been the bane of my existence. If you tried to use the “my dog ate my homework” line, your teacher could ask you via the app to upload a photo or video of your dog dining on your quadratic equations. With this app you get away with nothing.
Your parents know what homework’s been set, when it’s due, what you’re supposed to be doing – it’s a complete nightmare, or Godsend, depending on which side of the line you’re viewing from.
Here’s the problem. The app, every day, at 7am, according to its programming does a quick stocktake of what homework is due, what’s been marked by the student as completed, and what hasn’t. Then it efficiently trots out a notification of its findings, so the student gets a gentle nudge before heading for school that they’re either going to have to cobble something together, pull a sickie or run for the hills.
My boy will wake up today to that notification and all it does is heap even more pressure on him at a hugely uncertain time.
As I say, it’s not a complaint, more an explanation of a set of circumstances which have conspired to generate the perfect storm, and which need addressing, because here’s item 2.
Imagine you’re a teacher working from home in your first week. How do you think that’ll manifest itself? (Teachers, you can’t take part). I’m guessing in exactly the same way for everyone else who’s home working. You desperately don’t want the boss or your customers thinking you’re binge watching Netflix in your jammies on the couch munching on a family bag of Doritos with a large Pinot Grigio by your side, for breakfast.
Perish the thought.
So you work feverishly to combat that perception. You over-compensate and set up Google Classrooms and Microsoft Teams and homework past the Easter Holidays, before sending out reams of messaging about all of it.
And that’s simply for one subject, but your pupil has that for multiple subjects.
I’ve seen first hand how a piece of work is completed and submitted, and on a good day, seconds afterwards another homework is set through the app.
On. A. Good. Day.
Most of the time 2 or 3 notifications arrive during a task, and the pupil feels like they’re never clearing their feet. It’s totally overwhelming for them.
I’ve actually written to our school about it, been assured that steps are already being taken to address all of it, and that after Easter it should improve. My sense is that this is an across the board problem and not school specific, and the response to it will also be that, so possibly a bit of light at the end of that tunnel.
Phew.
OK, the good stuff in a minute, but first something else a little bit serious, but hugely important – your mental health throughout the Coronavirus outbreak.
I share this as someone who has experience of living with mental health issues.
In the past I’ve been diagnosed with severe clinical depression and I live with a condition called Cyclothymia, or as I like to call it Duke Of York Syndrome (….and when they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down). One or both can make life difficult to manage at times, and because I’ve been treated for both, I’ve learned to look out for various elements of my own behaviour as signs something isn’t quite right, and both my wife and I have also learned over time (and with professional help) the tool-set we can use to get me back on track.
This is all for the every day existence of life – the ‘normal’, but as everyone keeps pointing out, right now isn’t normal, and it’s entirely possible given the circumstances you become affected to some level.
I’ll give you a quick example. With my own condition, I know there are times in my day where I crave solitude. I have to be alone, to dull down my own thoughts and to get away from everybody else’s. It’s not a case for asking ‘why’, it just is. I don’t sit in a sound-proofed air-conditioned room on my own for 3 to 4 hours a day by chance.
So, you might think the current lockdown suits me – not being able to see anyone. But the fact is, I’m living with three other people and a slightly needy dog.
I didn’t see it for what it is, until my incredibly patient wife told me the other day I’ve been snapping at everyone, but especially her, FOR A FORTNIGHT.
I hadn’t even noticed.
Dutifully, she let me live.
But we did take what we’ve learned and put it into action, all spending the majority of that day apart, doing our own thing, before coming together again at night for our evening meal.
Like an average day!
And all the while our slightly needy dog, Ernie, trotted about between us unsure of who to thera-pet first.
The point is this. We’re a few steps along this road. We have some idea of how to walk it, and what causes me to stray from that path – in this instance the inability to get away from everything and just be calm, at peace for a little bit.
Or, what could conceivably be termed in an average case as ‘Cabin Fever.’
You might be experiencing that after almost two weeks of lockdown.
Thankfully, there’s loads of advice out there, and I wanted to flag that up for you. Try to be mindful of your behaviour, and if anything feels a little off, have something like this in your back pocket.
OK, I’m done. From here on in, it’s either funny or uplifting. Yay!
People. Are. Amazing.
Imagine this – you’re a kid. It’s your birthday. In lockdown. You can’t have a party. You can’t see your pals. You can’t do any of the normal stuff. Thankfully, these chums are the ones you know you’re going to have for life, because they are magnificent.
And for girls (or boys) like Katie who enjoy football, how about making something like this to alleviate the boredom. This is fantastic.
I mentioned my dog Ernie earlier. We are incredibly blessed to have him. He’s a fantastically good-natured family dog, but as time’s worn on, I’ve come round to the point of wondering who owns who? Who chose who? And I think it might be him in both circumstances.
And now the proper funny stuff.
And now, the News In Brief….
Yep.
OK, let’s end on some music, and because of the added waffle at the top you’ve managed to make it through, a double whammy of songs.
First from Tim McGraw.
And finally for today, a little James Corden. I thought initially he was a little slow out of the blocks on the ‘shows from home’ scene with Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon gobbling up that market online, but, it turns out he was putting together something a little more special and polished. This, was how it ended.
Thanks for reading, watching and listening.
Stay safe. x
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 
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