Directors Of The Bored, I salute you!
We’re one (business) week into lockdown, which is my eternally optimistic attempt to make it sound more like 7 days instead of 5.
That means, there’s also an actual week’s worth of blogs to delve into, and have a proper laugh. I remain mostly curator and not creator of the funny stuff, but I’m confident enough in its standalone ability to entertain and generally make you feel better about life than before you started looking at it. So, if you want to take a look at our back catalogue of Greatest Hits to date, you’ll find the running order here.
Ordinarily as we head into a weekend, I’m sure you’re full of plans, but, as everyone on TV is incredibly keen to hammer home, now is no ordinary time, in fact it’s ‘unprecedented’.
Never have I become so thoroughly sickened by a word so quickly.
*Pauses to check own site for “unprecedented’ with a quick improv word cloud*
Phew.
So, the chances are your weekend plans, much like my own, revolve around you being surgically cut from one set of pyjamas, hosed down briefly in the back garden, and then lowered into another set of PJs for week 2.
In amongst all that excitement, can I give you a recommendation? I’m not for a moment pretending to be a TV critic, but if you’re bingeing on Netflix | Amazon | Disney + right now the third season of Ozark drops today, and the first two have been fantastic.
It’s brilliantly nuts, where the lead star spins more plates than all the contestants of the Generation Game combined.
On the blog today, how to get a wild animal in your bedroom.
No, not like that. Easy, Tiger.
More ‘People Are Amazing’, including my favourite football club.
The one thing we all did yesterday that sneaked up on the world as a straightforward call-to-arms but was secretly an emosh-bomb, AND to counter that, all the funniest stuff we’ve spotted in the last 24 hours, so we go out on a high.
That is after all the purpose of this site, to make laughs spread quicker and for longer than Coronavirus, so we can get through it one day at a time, with a smile or a giggle where we thought it might otherwise elude us.
Friday, and for some, the start of what they now call ‘The Spring Holidays’ – primarily because they don’t actually incorporate Easter Weekend.
In our part of the world those holidays are another week away, but well done if you’ve made it to yours as a Home Schooling parent, unlike my friend Garry.
By the way, with regard to Easter, hand up if you think we’ve more chance of laying an Easter Egg than being able to source one.
There are various useful things to help the kids stave off boredom during this time, and I revel in them.
Edinburgh Zoo report they’ve seen a massive surge in people watching their live animal webcams.
Take a look for yourself
I warn you in advance, it’s Penguin mating season, and those are perhaps not the Happy Feet you want your kids to see.
If you want to have animal fun closer to home (yes, this is where you can finally have a tiger in the sack), open google and search for a wild animal. It doesn’t work with everything, but ‘lion’, ‘tiger’ and ‘bear’ certainly do.
Then scroll down to the ‘View in 3D’ section. Click on that, and then follow the on-screen instructions.
Then you can have a bit of fun.
Last night in our house we were visited by a bear, who, rather infuriatingly, kept blocking the TV screen.
On his way to sniffing candles
My wee girl can never resist adopting a stray…
But this lion was a close-run thing….
Thankfully, she won him over in the end.
Childish? Definitely.
Time-killing and fun all rolled into one? Guaranteed.
I’ll continue to say this. People. Are. Amazing.
This is how it happened in our house. We watched the clock ticking ever closer to ‘the time’.
We walked to the front door with a slight sense of trepidation that we would be the only ones.
Slowly, we keeked out, as the TV ushered us to begin applauding for all those working in the front line for the NHS.
Almost nervously we started to applaud alongside our TV cue.
And then it happened…..you heard not only your own clapping, but it echoing back from other households.
Not just one, but loads, and suddenly a tidal-wave of emotion.
Pride, sorrow, community, hope, love, fear, gratitude.
It was a simple call-to-arms that ended up being a JFK moment for another generation.
We went back inside, and as I sat down, I thought again of my brother-in-law Sasha who’s working through this as …(wait, and I’ll give you his full title, it’s impressive) a consultant thoracic surgeon of 11 years, and the director of robotic thoracic surgery at Barts Health.
(Told you)
Basically, he’s a bloke who works on hearts and lungs every day at St Barts, one of the busiest hospitals in London, and ever since this started, he’s been in my thoughts.
I want to get in touch, but don’t really know if I can. However in the wake of the clapping I finally succumbed and messaged him.
His reply was somewhat expectedly succinct.
He went on to explain how his wife (my sister-in-law Ruth) is even more exhausted because her shop is overwhelmed with people chasing fresh fruit and veg.
When we get through this, next time you’re in the Borders, trust me, there’s not a better greengrocer for miles than Purple Plum in Lauder and Melrose.
And that’s just my immediate family. Loads of medical staff, shopkeepers, police…..the list goes on….are keeping this country going when they’re needed most, and we should be thankful to every single one of them.
People. Are. Amazing.
Check out what my football club’s doing in this lay-off period.
A simple gesture that means the world to the people on the other end of those calls.
OK, time for the funny, stuff, immediately after this unique social distancing dilemma.
I desperately wanted to be a researcher on this next film.
More music in a moment, but first today’s “News In Brief”
If in doubt, play it safe
And finally for today, some music. For a change, it’s not Gary Barlow. No offence Gar, but it was time for a switch.
Instead, Lockdown Italy has produced these stars.
Loved that, and that’s the end of today’s collection. Thanks so much for reading.
As always, if you enjoyed it, please share it and help us in our mission to speed laughs around this planet quicker and for longer than Coronavirus.
Stay safe x.
#LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 