Hey!
Here I am again, just a socia-(b)-l-(e) distance away, doing my best to try and document what’s going on as it’s happening (in-a-Blue-Peter-time-capsule-kind-of-fashion).
More for me than anybody else.
My other main objective is to try and provide a giggle in your day, as we work through this curve flattening process together before emerging almost post-hibernation-like into the sunshine of the not too distant future, fingers crossed.
Friday began sightly oddly for me. I was tasked with getting our usual monthly shop from Costco.
In amongst the madness.
In the interest of full disclosure, my wife worked there for a while not long after our first was born, and we know a few folk there. That doesn’t mean we have extra info on the location of the secret underground delivery tunnel. It means we can ask a former colleague what our best course of action is with regard to shopping there.
Their advice? Turn up at 9am-ish and join whatever queue is there.
I got there at 8.45am, only because the traffic was unexpectedly lighter.
Here’s what happened.
All things considered, a relatively pain-free experience, but it was bizarre waiting for that queue to form. No-one wants to be seen to be first – Chief Panic Buyer – but once that one person does break from cover, the rest follow VERY quickly for fear of their shopping trip completely unwinding. Costco are now limiting purchases to one item per trolley. So, no more than one pack of toilet roll etc. Luckily, that distinction isn’t so severe as to ban you from buying beer, wine, and spirits!
On the subject of drinking, another defining moment and the enormity of the fight exemplified yet again when Brewdog’s most public face announced that already Coronavirus has slashed 70% off their revenue overnight and they’re in serious trouble.
The plea from James and Brewdog is to use their newly adapted drive-thru service wherever possible if you can, or maybe slip a few Brewdog into your shopping. I think and hope given the nature of how their business has grown, plenty Punks will step up. Plus, if you’re not reaching for something alcoholic after home-schooling by Tuesday at the latest, you’re not human. It may as well be a Brewdog.
As schools closed there was a palpable unease about the whole affair, certainly outside our Primary. Kids, for the most part, are incredibly sensitive. Whether they’re old enough to fully comprehend what’s going on, (I’m not even sure I am!) instinctively they know something’s not right. They can feel it. And whilst some P7 parents were organised enough to distract their little ones by getting a school shirt signed as they leave primary for secondary….sometime…., other children, like mine, slumped down the steps and along the path shrinking with every step they got closer. We got home and she had a wee bubble, not even sure in herself quite why. Later, the best explanation she could muster is that she wouldn’t see her pals for however long, and that she’d miss her teacher. To her, this feels a bit like being unfairly grounded. If you’ve got kids of a similar age, I imagine you’ll be viewing something close to that, although everybody is different. My eldest hasn’t stopped cartwheeling.
And so, to the main event, where we try to cheer you up!
Remember, we want to make laughs spread quicker than Coronavirus, and to outlast Coronavirus. A little distraction in your day amongst everything else. Please tell people about us, or that they can find us on social media by searching “sociable distance”.
If you can, we’d love for you to record us something funny on your phone, whether that’s you telling a joke or funny story, or you just happened to be filming when your brother tripped comically down the stairs.
Something that’ll put a smile on faces everywhere (aside from possibly your brother’s).
On our virtual stage today, my pal Yazz on the search for pasta, plus Patton Oswalt and a 15 second sketch that’ll have you creasing up, I promise.
But first, a brief bit of …People. Are. Amazing.
In an effort to raise spirits and because creative people feel an overwhelming desire to create at times like these, (trust me!) Gary Barlow has been recording duets with musical pals online.
Locally, restaurants and cafes have mobilised fantastically quickly to become take away and home delivery outlets.
Everyday people doing the most extraordinary of things in the most exceptional of circumstances. They’re not dancing because they’re superhuman and fearless. They’re dancing because they’re normal folk trained to save lives, and they’re drawing strength from their collective endeavours. They simply keep on, keeping on. And THAT lets off a little steam and brings a brief moment of joy to an otherwise exhausting, relentless shift.
People. Are. Amazing.
OK, time for a laugh. First up, this guy.
Next, Patton Oswalt, doing a bit of stand-up in self isolation, for exactly three people.
And last to the virtual stage this time out, my pal Yazz.
I’d love to see your joke or funny story. Record and share and we’ll send it around the world quicker and for longer than Coronavirus. #LaughterSpreadsFaster
Sociable Distance 